Category: Children
Early Summer Flowers x
One of the hardest things I’ve found as a parent is the relentlessness of it – it’s 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. With young children even on a ‘holiday’, unless you have the luxury of child care, there’s no time off – the scenery may change but the demands don’t..in fact they’re exacerbated if you’re by water and they can’t swim..or applying sun tan lotion to a moving target..or cursing the lack of toys as the rain comes down..or wondering where the nearest pharmacy/doctor is..or suffering a hangover with a child bouncing on your head at five in the morning..no matter how beautiful the place there’s still meals to sort, cleaning to do, shoes to find..teeth to brush.
But now that Charlie is five, we seem to be turning that parenting-at-the-rock-face corner. And this holiday sort of proved it.
We wanted to know if we could find a back to basics, out on your bikes type of nostalgic freedom where we could let the kids roam free without a care in the world.
We based ourselves in a little holiday park where cars were banned, where there was an indoor swimming pool (although they still had to be accompanied to swim) a tennis court and a small playground and told them they could come and go as they wanted, even (this was the big one) out of sight…they wandered, made friends, played football, played tennis….and we sat outside in peace and quiet and read!! Unheard of…I finished a whole book!
The truth is modern day parenting has made the world smaller, more tense, less happy till it’s almost no better than pretending to sleep. Really..we don’t need the blister. Which doesn’t mean it’s easy to let go – we’ve all read or seen the horror stories. I just believe we need to do it and we need to do it more – freedom, boredom, security, love and benign neglect is a potent combination.
Which didn’t mean we didn’t do things as a family….we did. We just weren’t permanently chained together….there was room to breathe.
It helped that it was such a comely spot. I’ve rarely seen so many abundant, rampant wild flowers..
With lots to see and do.
Frog spotting..
A true holiday for ALL the family….We’ll be going back for more of the same.
Laters, Kate x
Eulogy x
It’s been a sad time for the children’s school this week as they suddenly lost a much loved, much devoted member of staff. For many of the children (mine included) it was their first real experience of the finality of death and there was a real sense of loss and grief. So we were incredibly touched when we saw this beautiful tribute attached anonymously to one of the trees on the Common that we pass on our way to school every day. It was there all week, through all the rain and storms till it was hanging by it’s cellotaped thread. I couldn’t bear to see it destroyed any more so yesterday I left a note in it’s place to say how much it had meant to all of us who’d seen it and that I was taking it into school to go in a special place in the book of condolence.
Walking back afterwards I saw a lady looking at my note and removing it – I just had a gut feeling. I asked her if it was her daughter who’d drawn the picture..and it was..she wanted to give the note to her daughter to show her how much joy her picture had given.
I had hated taking it down but meeting her felt like a little bit of fate, a little bit of magic..and a circle complete in the best way possible: A treasure is always a treasure.
Laters, Kate x
Why do you Write?
An apology and a confession: I find it hard to respond to Blog Awards, not because I don’t believe in them or feel the honour but because the choosing and linking to 15 plus Blogs is such a long process. But I was tagged by the talented Laura at Buckle Button Zip for a Blog hop that focus’s on the process of writing. I loved the post she wrote and I was intrigued to write my own answers. It helps it’s a two-man handover..
The Hop has a series of questions:
1. What am I working on? I write for my Blog, another Blog and provide the media content for a shoe company. My days already start pretty early (5.50 am on a heavy day) and finish pretty late (11?) with work and life squeezed between being a full time mum so I find it hard to add any more. Could I write anything more? It’s a question I’ve asked myself..I wrote, a long time ago now, 17 chapters based of stories from my Grandmother and have 3 volumes of poetry (!)..there are always ideas bubbling. Maybe one day – but for now I value the discipline of writing at least one post every day.
How does my writing differ? There’s a little (read big) spark in my heart that wants to prove that you can have intelligent writing about fashion. I have a horror of superficiality, hate dumbing down and believe in the beauty of language. I can’t spell for toffee, my grammar is non-existent but I love the rhythm of words and the pictures they make.
Why do I write what I do? I’m in a lucky position where I can be a stay at home mum, but that doesn’t mean I don’t need my own identity – something to claim as just me and writing does that. I don’t think I could do it every day if I didn’t love it – the freedom, the escapism, the ability to skip over water and broken glass. it’s both an indulgence and a drug. I’m a butterfly choosing the bits I love and avoiding what I don’t want to tread in..but always underlined with discipline.
How does my writing process work? I read a lot and try to digest it. My notebooks are everything – they tip me into another world and stop creative fatigue. I write ideas, thoughts, groups of words in longhand. Sometimes they don’t even relate to what I’m writing about but they’re all stored away. Often I’ll wonder and wander and read something wrong, my own handwriting or the written word..’I began to lose myself in consecutive nights out’..except I see it as ‘constructive nights out’ but I like it – it’s the balance to losing oneself, so I write it down. And with a mistake, I walk back to reality.
I want to thank Laura, it was an absolute pleasure to have the baton passed on from a true wordsmith. And now I have to hand the honour over and with only two spots, this wasn’t easy. I’ve chosen two long-term favourite people/writers that hold a special place in my heart:
Laura Lynn: Because writing for her is as natural as breathing.
Jackie Mallon: Because she knows exactly how to get to the beating heart of the matter and take you along for the ever-changing ride.
Laters, Kate x
Charlie’s Story..
Today is Charlie’s fifth birthday and running underneath his uncontained excitement and joy are my own feelings of relief and wonder. His birth represents the end of a close on ten year hard fought for battle to complete our little family.
It took us a long, long road to have our Bella (over 6 years, 7 miscarriages and after all that, she was an IVF baby) But when she arrived we were finally given the mantle ‘parents’. To have a second child would be the final icing – if there was any possibility I wanted her to have a companion, someone to spread and share the love, to be there with her when we became old, someone to love her like we did. 
When she reached 18 months nothing had happened pregnancy-wise (we had hoped her birth might kick things into gear again..I was sure I stopped falling pregnant because of the psychological kick-back of the losses) so we made plans and turned to IVF again. I still remember feeling like a fraudulent leper walking into the Infertility Clinic holding hands with my toddler. I desperately wanted to hang a sign around her neck saying ‘IVF baby – honestly, I’ve earnt her’.
The Gods were smiling – despite a small number of eggs yet again, all were good quality and the treatment worked first time. Much to our astonishment and delight I was pregnant with twins. We were ecstatic. Except it wasn’t meant to be. Despite being on the magic cocktail of drugs that gave us Bella (Heparin, aspirin and steroids) when we went for our next scan, there were no heartbeats. I’ll never forget the the nurse saying ‘This is so rare. It really shouldn’t happen to both, they’re in separate sacs.’ I had to go into hospital for a D&C. I remember they wanted me to take my wedding ring off. I refused saying they were taking enough and just to cover it with surgical tape.
I was so utterly devastated. It was one of the lowest points I can ever remember. You’d think we’d be used to it, but coming after Bella, it was such a body blow… IVF takes such time and emotional commitment – the whole process is so fraught with dangers and knock backs that it seems as if you’ve been pregnant for months rather than weeks. We really thought we’d cracked the miscarriage problem and had prayed we’d never, ever have to face the trauma of it ever again.
Holding a glass of ouzo the day of the mirror
The following month we headed to Greece to get away from everything and have a holiday. And then something truly incredible happened: I fell pregnant naturally – and literally knew straight away. But how could I? I gave myself a strong talking to in the bathroom mirror – stop grasping at straws, don’t ruin the holiday for the others, stop dreaming, your cycle’s up the creek, move on – Whenever I’d been pregnant (Sooooo many times before) I’d feel sick after one sip of alcohol..but look, I could still drink ouzo… The first weekend after we got back to the UK we travelled to see the in-laws. I was handed a glass of white wine…and I knew it was true.
(Photo by the wonderful Alexandra Joseph)
It was such a bitter sweet time…I hadn’t fallen naturally pregnant in over five years…the joy of hope..the trauma of fearing the worst again. I went back on the drugs as soon as I could..and then it was a matter of waiting. All I can say is that to reach 12 weeks the seconds ticked by like hours..
(Photo by Alexandra Joseph)
But Charlie was meant to be – though he didn’t make it easy..I had notches on my umbilical cord so I remained on daily heparin injections until my 30th week – I looked like a regular abuser. Then I got pre-eclampsia so he was finally delivered 2 weeks early by C-Section at what seemed a tiny five and a half pounds..but he was with us, he was alive – he was an absolute little miracle.
And now to see us as a family together, you’d never know..you’d just think..my….they’re lucky…
(Photo by Alexandra Joseph)
And we are.
Laters, Kate x
Go Ape! x
We’ve been soaking up the joys of Hampshire spending a delightful Easter with relatives, eating and drinking far too much with lovely people we haven’t seen for a long time which is what life should be about. On the last day we dragged ourselves away from the festivities to meet up with good friends to ‘Go Ape’ in the New Forest trees…
Aged between 4 and 7 our kids were impressively fearless…
Tackling high-wire tracks with gusto that had many adults swaying with pure terror..
The end reward was a huge zip line..(Charlie was NOT convinced it was a wise idea the first time round – he was persuaded by the staff to give it a go..loved it – and went back for more!)
Sometimes you only realise how high they all were when you see the little things down below..
(Photo by Filip)
(This photo by Filip)
Serious fun for all the family!
Except with every Yin there’s alway a Yan…like returning home to the joys of sorting the holiday laundry and getting everything ready for back-to-school ..this is what my Barometer of Life looks like today…
Pay back…
Laters, Kate x
Doings…
The light (as discussed here and here) is coming on. I suspect my top shade is too big..but I just can’t stop! I love the way each shade eats up the shade below and covers the gap between them. At the moment they’re loosely hooked together – on the plus side it means they can be unhooked with the greatest of ease. On the downside you have to be careful to find the central point to keep them straight and balanced..and the slightest knock…..they all come crashing down…The window is open now and they do move most beautifully in the breeze.
We’ve also been having the most wonderful weather in London (long may it last and much deserved) so Bella, Charlie and I have been re-claiming the garden from winter. Utter madness, but I’ve wanted to extend our patio for ages…I managed to dig out over fifty bags of soil hashtag-who-needs-a-gym? I’m dying to know whether I can actually do it…I want to add some inlaid cobbles as well..time will tell – and I fully accept I’m nuts, but I really believe getting your hands dirty is part of the joy of life.
I’ve ordered my espadrilles (2 pairs) for the Competition..ideas are bubbling – just a matter of which ones to choose..and I’ve had another little creative project on the side based on a Dries Van Noten shirt I fell in lust with…but I think I’ll save that for another post! Only a week of the Easter Holidays left to get it all done…no pressure!
Laters, Kate x
Espadrille Competition!
Calling all fashionista’s (particularly those with a young child within) for our inaugural Pimp Your Kicks Design Competition! this is your chance to play, glue, dye, make..bake! accessorise and bling-o-rize a classic pair of espadrilles into a thing of beauty worthy of a street style photo shot (See here for more inspiration – seriously – the only limit is your imagination!)
The details:
- Sign up below and send a photo of your finished shoes to contactkatebentley@gmail.com by midnight gmt on Friday 23 May
- The winner will be announced on Monday 26 May with pictures of all the entries (can’t wait!)
- You can enter as many pairs as you wish..and high heeled espadrilles also accepted.
- There will be an external judge and a little prize for the winner..
I’m off to scout the internet for the cheapest pair of espadrilles I can find…and if I can find children’s sizes Bella and Charlie will be entering too!!
Laters, Kate x
Jackie? Are you there??! x
Leaving on our adventure..not sure how Bella managed to take this pic, but I love the way the shadow looks like a man with a big nose…
Charlie is our fashionisto today..he’s insisted on wearing his top back-to-front..
To match his blue nail varnish (Yep, a fashion statement rather than hyperthermia..)
First part of the journey is by train. The kids are tickled pink by the window of this platform cafe…made on purpose or did someone get bored?!
Fuel stop at Brockley (re-named broccoli by Bella..)
They’re not impressed by my blue egg brunch, but honestly it’s Delicious!
There’s a serendipitous magazine on the table….reminding us we’re here on a mission from New York (Click for the NY link and the complete story!)..we have to find Jackie’s book ‘Silk for the Feed Dog’ before anyone else does..she’s literally sent it from across the Atlantic..
Except – so near yet so far..there’s no effing internet on my phone so now we don’t have a map. Tip to self: Always carry a paper back-up…and we’re on a deadline for the magic to happen..
We jump on a bus..it’s the scenic route but at least I can remember the way from Lewisham (we’re travelling two sides of a very large triangle)..the question is..will we make it in time??
There it is!! London’s smallest library…
Is it there? Are we too late?
YES!! SUCCESSSSSSSSSSSS!
All the way from New York!! Utterly totes amazing!!! So thrilled it’s there and there is such a things as magic in the world..
And the kids are thrilled to swap and find books of their own too..
Time to go home for a nice cup of tea and a good read..except I have two children to entertain…
but hey!..they have books too! Result!
Laters, a very happy, Kate x
(Quick link back to the NY part of the story!)
Serendipidy..
Sometimes worlds start to collide..like today! Two of the lovely brands I’ve discovered on my Blog travels have taken their visions further: The dynamic Claire from Air & Grace has just launched her website! Yay!
Find out exactly why I think her shoes are so special..
And meet Grace..the urban, kooky, stylish muse of the Brand! You may also recognise a bit of the style of writing on the Website..Claire was here last week to crunch some words together..
And the charismatic children’s label the Fableists? They’ve just launched a Kickstarter Project…
Making it the ideal time to invest in a classic canvas Chore coat..(in my size please!!)
Or the smock dress I’ve been meaning to get..and check out that Blue chambray shirt..divine..
Buy knowing you’ve helped the people who want to get it right…it’s about great clothes for kids that are beautifully made with love, design and sustainability…which ticks every box in my book.
But at the end of the day..it’s not the buying that really matters… we can do much more: We’re all plugged into that cyber-energy that runs like a river between us and the world…send out a post, a tweet, an email – spread the word. If each one of us sent off little paper boats of information out onto the current, the result would be incredible…these are now the little people starting out with new Brands in a dog eat dog world….but with the thought and attention to detail these guys have, they really should be the Companies of the future…and they will be, with that kind of support behind them.
Sometimes it’s the little things that really matter: Let’s do it for the good guys.
Laters, Kate x
The Fableists x
(Bella wearing Baseball shirt £20)
The driving force behind The Fableist’s children’s label has nothing to do with fashion, it has nothing to do with faddy designs or even seasonal clothes. The name comes from the amalgamation of two words – ‘fables’ – for the telling of stories and most importantly, where each piece of clothing comes from, and ‘activist’ – what it’s going to take to change this industry around. The simple focus of the brand is the wish to do the best for our children and that this should never involve child labour or harmful chemicals.
(Charlie wearing Recycle tee £16)
But that doesn’t mean the fashion doesn’t exist..
Look through the Collection and you’ll find their Chore coat..utilitarian to a seam – can be worn by either boys or girls..timeless, versatile and a wardrobe staple winter or summer.
(Bella wearing Charlie’s Breton tee! £20)
Or their Smock Dress? A tom-boys delight..a dress that isn’t girly based on a vintage dress found in a Parisienne flea market. How perfect?
(Charlie wearing Brain tee £16)
Every element has been thought of and thought through, from the biodegradable PVC packaging to passports and labels made from re-cycled paper and rhino poo. Certainly had my scamps laughing!
At the heart of so much fashion today is a grotty portrait of a dusty, broken world where profit comes before anything else.
What a joy then to discover a Company that is prepared to buck the trend.
The Fableists are chicken soup for children clothes – rich, deep and soulful. They recognise that our future is the little people..and their future needs a planet.
Cool clothes and a good heart?
It’s a rare combination that deserves our support.
Laters, Kate x
Maison Bentley Style 