Category: Thoughts
7 Questions..
Favourite Colour: Blue..denim, navy, the sea, the sky..it rocks.
Best trait: I value the simple things in life..but truthfully, what I hold truly dear doesn’t a lot, but is ultimately priceless.
Worst trait: I like to think I’m tidy, but I fear I’m not – things just get discarded like the feathers from a plucked chicken so there’s a perpetual circle of chaos around me. I’m also surprisingly crap with technology – I’m not an obsessive checker and regularly lose my phone. I see the internet as something wonderful but inherently dangerous and I suspect losing my phone is a Freudian way of trying to keep a distance from it’s pull.
Oldest item in wardrobe: Hard to say – there’s a fair amount of vintage with unknown heritage, but I do have a cream cape that used to belong to my Grandmother. It’s a treasure.
Newest item: Vintage silk dress bought on Ebay and dyed black, otherwise it’s my Miss Hellfire stripey shoes..certainly different and surprisingly comfortable..
Favourite piece of music: Schubert Lieder sung by Ian Bostridge which shouldn’t work because he’s a light, English tenor, but does..maybe because it’s such intelligent singing.
The last time I laughed: Charlie was asking me about the world’s tallest animal. I said ‘Giraffe’..he looked at me in surprise, and said ‘But what about the Decondra lizard Mummy? It’s at least 2 metres taller, lives in South African and has the ability to make anything you need – if you’re in the Arctic and you need a coat, the Decondra will just make one for you..it can also make plastic..and toys..basically it’s the best pet ever to have..just a big shame it’s so tall’..deep sigh…..
Laters, Kate x
Big Day..
Today will see the 70th staging of the Oxford and Cambridge boat race: Iconic, exclusive, elitist sporting gold. And for the first time ever, women will be rowing their own race, on the same stretch of water, on the same day and, like the men, it will be broadcast live to millions.
The change is due to Helena Morrissey (Cambridge graduate with 9 children and no background in rowing) Chief Executive of Newton Investment Management and their sponsorship. She found it shocking that there was such a discrepancy between the men and the women..but don’t think it was plain sailing for her to introduce the change. It wasn’t.
Nina Carberry is also riding in the Grand National today (think of all the girls who have riding lessons. Now think how many female jockeys there are..) – there is Katie Walsh – she won the Irish Grand National this week…but she doesn’t have a horse to ride…says a lot. Carberry is in red-hot form having won over the National fences already on Thursday in the Fox Hunters’ Chase…it’s a tough, tough race but I’ll be backing her and First Lieutenant all the way to make history and be crowned the first lady of Aintree. It’s about time.
Laters, Kate x
Fashion Warrior x
A style icon is someone with the power to dazzle by simply being themselves and Gwendoline Christie, (best known for playing the part of Brienne of Tarth in Game of Thrones) is as bright and compelling as any of the celebrity fashion role models regularly spoonfed to us by the synthesised, visually generalised media. But with added spice..there’s something powerful, complex and original about her..made all the more special when you take into account her six foot three inch size..
As someone who has at times felt genderless because of her height, it interests her to challenge our assumptions of femininity and what it is to be a woman.
The role of Brienne – unfeminine in appearance, an object of scorn, clinging naively to the idealised concept of knighthood but always being treated with contempt and resentment for her gender, despite her considerable skill – is a role she relishes as a gift and the most extraordinary opportunity to portray the type of feminine outsider we rarely see in the mainstream.
It’s a part that crosses the invisible line between an actors vanity and personal vanity..you have to be prepared to be displayed as unattractive, large and masculine..and for people to believe that’s what you truly are.
When the reality is very different..
This is a lady who knows how to dress and is unafraid to push boundaries.
(All photos Google and Pinterest)
It must be rather satisfying to hear the crushing sound of misconceptions crunching under the designer soles of her stiletto clad feet every time she walks…
Laters, Kate x
Into the Darkroom..
Guy Bourdin was a photographer best known for his surreal work for French Vogue from the mid forties to the mid eighties and for his graphically strong and charismatic work for the shoe company, Charles Jourdan. He’s now the subject of the brilliant Image Maker exhibition at Somerset house, London.
Whilst conventional fashion images follow the general generalisation of the world: making beauty and clothing their central elements, Bourdin’s photographs offer something grittier..more radical. In a glossier, more vibrant, tumbling world he created desire and lust..then subverted it with hints at dark fantasies and suggestions of depravity. In beautifully created and calculated illusions, his camera acts like an unwanted intruder..
He invites you in…
Welcomes you to the unexpected, wickedly carving up the narrative, his subjects caught in the headlights. Disgraceful, flashy and all handcrafted with love and terror.
Where he’s happy to leave a layer of shocked emotions smeared across the floor..
But always with humour and heart.
The colours are intense: heightened, enhanced, almost hyper-real: Red, blue, a specific yellow, black and white. And always with a life and energy that our modern day editorials seem to have lost.
In our age of endless image manipulation and photoshopping, there’s something incredible about Bourdin’s sheer creativity and endless imagination. Look, no digital re-mastering..
(This is my lovely friend Sophie at the exhibition in our own photo homage)
This exhibition is cool statement strong balls with scalpel sharp insights and seductive eye candy. Go see it…then see it again..
Laters, Kate x
Cracking Curves..
It’s that time of year again when the beach starts beckoning and thinness is worn as a Designer label. But why do we always fall for the myth that size defines our worth? I’ve been talking to the inspirational Sarah Clark about all things voluptuous and authentic. Sarah is Positive Sarah, blogger for FatPhrocks and Wingz, and also in her own right on Gorgeously Full Fat. She is a fat and fabulous, fashion-loving freelance writer with a novel, Viva Voluptuous in the shops NOW, perfect for a summer giggle and banishing those beach babe fears…
Do you think the term ‘plus size’ is offensive…is it the same as ‘she’s beautiful for her age’ – i.e. words that are surplus to requirement?
Actually – not really. It’s mildly irritating but it doesn’t really offend me as at the moment there’s no way of knowing whether something comes in your size without some kind of extra label. If all clothes, or at the very least a wider range, cane in a bigger size range, incorporating the 26 as well as the 6, the ‘plus size’ label would become completely obsolete because you’d just have ‘sizes’. But because bigger women are catered for so abysmally by most high street fashion (and couture of course, which is arguably even worse) at the moment there’s still a need to define a collection as being plus size. I’m more offended by ‘you’d be pretty if you weren’t so fat’ which is a bit similar to the ‘beautiful for her age’ backhanded compliment. If you’re beautiful, you’re beautiful. Weight, age, size, colour don’t come into it.
(Betty from Pamper and Curves)
In your opinion do you think anyone should be able to wear anything regardless of size…or should women just stick to what suits them?
You know, style is so subjective that I think women should wear whatever they feel good in. There used to be so many prescriptive fashion rules for fatties; no horizontal stripes, no bold patterns, and I even read something recently online suggesting that fat women should make sure they have pretty feet because it gives people something attractive that takes the focus away from their (presumably ugly) fat bodies. I mean, WTF is that all about? At the same time, in some body positive circles there’s a lot of pressure on big women to ‘let it all hang out’ and not all of us are happy with that. It’s been so long since I wore a bikini, in fact, I think I was about eight, that even if I had the ‘ideal’ figure, I wouldn’t feel comfortable showing my midriff off. It’s up to the individual; wear whatever makes you feel good, and don’t be pressurised into adjusting your style to suit other people’s ideas of what looks good. People like Betty from Pamper and Curves, or Leah from Just me, Leah play around with their look and always look fabulous, nobody tells them to stick to black or not to wear leggings!
(Leah from Justmeleah)
3. I think shape plays an important part in choosing the right clothes – are there brands out there that understand shape and are still fashion aware?
Generally, it’s the plus size brands that seem to ‘get’ the shape issue. There are exceptions to the rule, but if you buy a dress in an 18 that’s been designed for a size 10, that little extra bit of fabric isn’t necessarily going to make it suit a larger body. I’ve thought for a long time that one of the reasons couture designers don’t design for larger bodies as a rule is that…it’s harder! Designers like Michelle Ellis of FatPhrocks really know what it’s like trying to find fashion that’s a bit different. She designs for tall, plus sized women and are spot on, whereas even with taller versions of average clothes, they sometimes just don’t quite look right. It’s a lot easier to get a dress to hang properly on a body that’s straight up and down, because there’s nothing in the way of the shape of the outfit. But try doing the same with an 18 or a 20 and it’s a different story. For a start, we all have different shapes; some fat women are hourglass, some apple, some pear. Some of us have huge boobs and a big tummy but slimmish legs. No, it’s a lot easier to design for a slim woman, catwalk wise, because they know it will look the same on all the identikit models.
4. Who are your plus size girl (see…falling into the label trap) style icons and why?
I’ve already mentioned Betty Pamper; she is a real style icon to me, I follow her blog avidly because the way she puts her looks together is just phenomenal. She always looks so groomed and so damn gorgeous. Leah from Just me, Leah is another one, she’s a fashion blogger and completely unapologetic for being large. She also blogs on health and body positivity, and a recent post on body confidence was just so spot on I wish that all teenage girls could read it. Two more; Tess Munster is just like a plus size version of Jessica Rabbit. She’s stunning, she’s faced bullying throughout her life but then she thought “You know what, f*** this” and turned it on its head to become a plus size model. The woman is GORGEOUS, and a real inspiration to anyone who thinks being very fat means that you sit around in tatty leggings and a stained tee all day. Lastly, I love Lisa Lister. She was recently featured in Cosmo Body (July) in her full on beehive and tatt-splashed glory, talking about how she gave up diets and found happiness. She’s so positive and full of energy, she inspires me all the time, and I LOVE her style. She also works with Dove as a Body Image Ambassador, and that has to be celebrated.
5. What would you prefer – shops/brands that specifically catered for you – or acceptance across all shops?
That’s actually a really tricky question. What I don’t want to see is just a couple of extra sizes tagged on just to keep the fatties happy, because it would just be an afterthought. I’d love to have more choice on the high street. Bigger women have trouble finding clothes in many towns; in my own they’ve just shut down the local Evans, New Look stopped stocking their Inspire range and the only places you can get clothes over a size 18 are a few concessions in Debenhams, or Marks & Spencer. The other thing that’s annoyed me for a long time is why stores like Next who have clothes in size 20,22 and 24 only usually have up to an 18 on display. Yet, they will have the size 6 out. So in convoluted reply, I would like more targeted plus size options in existing shops, and a few more plus size shops on the high street would be lovely too, I’m fed up with having to order my clothes online just because I’m fat.
6. Why is acceptance across all shops so hard – particularly when you look at the average size of UK women?..
That one I really can’t answer. My opinion is that fat isn’t ‘aspirational’ enough to warrant attention from the fashionistas, nobody WANTS to be fat, so why display clothes on fat mannequins or cater for larger people in designer or even high street stores? It’s as if they want our money, so they’ll cater for us behind the scenes like Next, making us order the larger sizes online so we don’t have to take up room in their shops! Page 2 of 3Page 3 of 3Talking of taking up room, not that I go into Top Shop very often, but younger shops like Top Shop and River Island are so tightly crammed that fat people can’t even squeeze though the racks in some shops! I think it’s probably a ploy to keep the chubbies away from their lovely tiny clothes personally, but they are missing a trick. Get Beth Ditto or someone in and get working on a collection for big, younger women, and they’ll get loyalty from a completely new section of the market. There’s so few young plus sized fashion options in shops that it’s ridiculous. I’d love to see the them –vs- us mentality that seems to be all pervasive at the moment disappear up its own backside and be replaced by a tolerant, inclusive acceptance that bodies come in all sizes and it’s actually OK. aND I’d love to see more designers like Michelle Ellis of FatPhrocks, designers who understand the needs of tall and plus size women and design individual, unusual clothes that cater for the people who actually wear them, rather than being identi-copies of the slim ranges in the shops.
7. Magazines also claim that their content has to be ‘aspirational’ – What do you say to that?
In my dreams I’d love to start an intelligent magazine for women that includes women of all shapes, sizes, ethnicities and abilities….with everything from fashion to philosophy and food, which didn’t treat women like idiots, airheads or vacuous bimbos who can’t do anything without taking a selfie or actually CARE what Katie Price is doing!
Sarah, I salute you.
Laters, Kate x
Eulogy x
It’s been a sad time for the children’s school this week as they suddenly lost a much loved, much devoted member of staff. For many of the children (mine included) it was their first real experience of the finality of death and there was a real sense of loss and grief. So we were incredibly touched when we saw this beautiful tribute attached anonymously to one of the trees on the Common that we pass on our way to school every day. It was there all week, through all the rain and storms till it was hanging by it’s cellotaped thread. I couldn’t bear to see it destroyed any more so yesterday I left a note in it’s place to say how much it had meant to all of us who’d seen it and that I was taking it into school to go in a special place in the book of condolence.
Walking back afterwards I saw a lady looking at my note and removing it – I just had a gut feeling. I asked her if it was her daughter who’d drawn the picture..and it was..she wanted to give the note to her daughter to show her how much joy her picture had given.
I had hated taking it down but meeting her felt like a little bit of fate, a little bit of magic..and a circle complete in the best way possible: A treasure is always a treasure.
Laters, Kate x
A Modern Icon x
I have a new state-of-the-art heroine and her name is Dr. Victoria Bateman. For her birthday she and her husband decided to commission a painting of her by the Artist Anthony Connolly. In the nude.
What do you think when I tell you Victoria is also an Economics Fellow at Gonville & Caius College, Cambridge?
In many ways it’s really such a simple thing – a naked body – but what she has done has sent blasts through so many mental walls. It’s a beautifully observed and performed satire on perceptions, maximally liberated and impeccably crafted introducing a huge pink elephant to hang languorously in the air….that society does not believe a nude can be an intelligent, academic woman, comfortable in her own skin.
Victoria says: ‘When I first came up with the idea I thought it would be a conventional portrait but the more I thought about it, I realised that doesn’t really represent the truth about me. The more I went through the artistic process, the more I began to think about women and their role and portrayal in society. At the age of 34 I am comfortable in my own body. Reaching a certain age and realising that life is not infinite, I wanted to capture a moment in time. Initially this snapshot was going to be conventional. But the more I thought about it, the more I could see the value in creating a work that was both ‘honest’ – that showed me comfortable in my own skin – and that, as in my academic work, was not afraid to break through the pre-existing barriers and to raise important questions.’
Unlike so many historic nudes there’s a different power of suggestion and behaviour in her portrait. In the past many poses have been of women caught unawares, captured in an unwitting moment, an onlooker peeking round a door. But here Victoria stares directly out giving the painting an extraordinary force. She chose a natural, relaxed pose, beyond the superficiality of a TV soap, which says more for female body confidence than any written word ever has.
‘My view is that we will never eradicate the overtly sexualised images of women – they will always be profitable to produce, as well I understand as an economist. instead I feel that the best way of providing an antidote is to also make sure that we show women as they truly are – it is a confident, relaxed, natural and of a named woman who is not being objectified with fake additions and photoshopping.’
‘Some people might say I’m not better than a page 3 girl but the message behind it is I am not just a body. ( And conversely – I’d say – that she is not just an academic – she has a body) ‘I wanted to show that each woman has a female figure that literally walks around with her every moment in her life – it’s not simply sexual.’
Victoria Bateman has weilded the power to defy industry moulds and underline herself as an individual. I love her because too many people let who they are become secondary to what everyone else wants them to be and it’s then that we build up walls for ourselves and others.
Bravo Victoria! Brave, courageous and brilliant.
Laters, Kate x
Charlie’s Story..
Today is Charlie’s fifth birthday and running underneath his uncontained excitement and joy are my own feelings of relief and wonder. His birth represents the end of a close on ten year hard fought for battle to complete our little family.
It took us a long, long road to have our Bella (over 6 years, 7 miscarriages and after all that, she was an IVF baby) But when she arrived we were finally given the mantle ‘parents’. To have a second child would be the final icing – if there was any possibility I wanted her to have a companion, someone to spread and share the love, to be there with her when we became old, someone to love her like we did. 
When she reached 18 months nothing had happened pregnancy-wise (we had hoped her birth might kick things into gear again..I was sure I stopped falling pregnant because of the psychological kick-back of the losses) so we made plans and turned to IVF again. I still remember feeling like a fraudulent leper walking into the Infertility Clinic holding hands with my toddler. I desperately wanted to hang a sign around her neck saying ‘IVF baby – honestly, I’ve earnt her’.
The Gods were smiling – despite a small number of eggs yet again, all were good quality and the treatment worked first time. Much to our astonishment and delight I was pregnant with twins. We were ecstatic. Except it wasn’t meant to be. Despite being on the magic cocktail of drugs that gave us Bella (Heparin, aspirin and steroids) when we went for our next scan, there were no heartbeats. I’ll never forget the the nurse saying ‘This is so rare. It really shouldn’t happen to both, they’re in separate sacs.’ I had to go into hospital for a D&C. I remember they wanted me to take my wedding ring off. I refused saying they were taking enough and just to cover it with surgical tape.
I was so utterly devastated. It was one of the lowest points I can ever remember. You’d think we’d be used to it, but coming after Bella, it was such a body blow… IVF takes such time and emotional commitment – the whole process is so fraught with dangers and knock backs that it seems as if you’ve been pregnant for months rather than weeks. We really thought we’d cracked the miscarriage problem and had prayed we’d never, ever have to face the trauma of it ever again.
Holding a glass of ouzo the day of the mirror
The following month we headed to Greece to get away from everything and have a holiday. And then something truly incredible happened: I fell pregnant naturally – and literally knew straight away. But how could I? I gave myself a strong talking to in the bathroom mirror – stop grasping at straws, don’t ruin the holiday for the others, stop dreaming, your cycle’s up the creek, move on – Whenever I’d been pregnant (Sooooo many times before) I’d feel sick after one sip of alcohol..but look, I could still drink ouzo… The first weekend after we got back to the UK we travelled to see the in-laws. I was handed a glass of white wine…and I knew it was true.
(Photo by the wonderful Alexandra Joseph)
It was such a bitter sweet time…I hadn’t fallen naturally pregnant in over five years…the joy of hope..the trauma of fearing the worst again. I went back on the drugs as soon as I could..and then it was a matter of waiting. All I can say is that to reach 12 weeks the seconds ticked by like hours..
(Photo by Alexandra Joseph)
But Charlie was meant to be – though he didn’t make it easy..I had notches on my umbilical cord so I remained on daily heparin injections until my 30th week – I looked like a regular abuser. Then I got pre-eclampsia so he was finally delivered 2 weeks early by C-Section at what seemed a tiny five and a half pounds..but he was with us, he was alive – he was an absolute little miracle.
And now to see us as a family together, you’d never know..you’d just think..my….they’re lucky…
(Photo by Alexandra Joseph)
And we are.
Laters, Kate x
Time x
Time is the universal equaliser the world over and remains the one thing that money can’t buy. It’s an arbitrary beast – running slow at Doctor’s appointments, running away on holidays and moments of wonder. Which means despite it being a mathematical unit it has a hidden, nebulous, time warp quality and, given half the chance, it is a thief.
I was originally a Professional Violinist but the one thing I truly hated was practising – repetitive, robotic and boring. I soon learnt that if I practised intelligently I considerably reduce the monotony – and it’s this discipline I’ve taken into my day to day life: Cut down the grisly bits to the least time possible and use the time left over to breathe.
The truth is generally we start the day with a list of things we need to accomplish, we start working through it and before we know it the day is gone and the list has barely been dented. The next day more stuff piles up and we’re permanently lugging around a constant burden of responsibility and expectation that never ends.
So I have 2 Golden Rules and a System – (it’s not Rocket Science, it won’t work for everyone, but it works for me.)
The Golden Rules:
1. ‘Things’ take less time than you think.
2. The ‘Things’ should never dictate time it takes to do them.
The System:
1. Write down a list of EVERYTHING. Then write a list of what you need to get done this week, prioritise for the day if needs be, but then divide the rest of the list over the rest of the week: The moral of the story is long lists never, ever work – divide and conquer and you stand a chance.
2. Give each job 15 minutes – and it is here in the objectivity of technology where the truth lies – SET AN ALARM (honest to God the time remains constant) (I use my phone) for 15 minutes. When it goes off, move onto the next job, re-set the alarm and start again…in the great scheme of things it’s a pee in the ocean: The accumulative effect packs a punch.
3. Need to tidy the house? Set the alarm for 5 minutes or 10 minutes for each room – you’ll be amazed at how much you can get done. The rest of the time is now YOURS.
It also works to create boundaries for the Creative side too – My great love is that absolute joy-zone where’s no effort and you’re transported away from the world. Given the chance I’d be permanently on my happy-dappy planet – except nothing practical would ever get done and my house and all those contained within it would fall to rack and ruin. By using an alarm and setting a limit (30 minutes – 45 minutes?) I give myself permission to ignore everything else for that period of time and just be. I can safely zone out. And come back home again.
What it does mean is that jobs don’t necessarily get finished (although you’d be surprised how much does – there’s an automatic sense of focus that comes from dictating a specific period of time) – but take my light, the patio, the shirt..not finished..but, given time, they will be..and now I’m controlling them instead of them controlling me..and bit by bit you find great riches in those small steps..It’s about both squeezing the most from everything..and taking that time to smell the roses..
Laters, Kate x
Ruminations.. x
Do you remember these pics? They came from a post way back in November when culottes first started appearing. They still remain some of my favourite outfit combinations.
These were such a clever pair.
But why another post on the same subject?
Because buying less but buying better deserves serious thought.
(and it gives me the chance to show you this pic of the Givenchy pair from yesterday out on the streets. How ravishing?)
(And this pair worn with a battered sneakers. Just for Laura..)
But truthfully, I was thinking seriously about the tidal rise and appeal of Fast Fashion..and I’m convinced that part of the lure is it salves the fear of making mistake purchases, because if we do make one, does it really matter? And so our wardrobes clutter up with unworn, unwanted skins that economically – despite their original headlines – just don’t make sense. Instead shopping feels like a burden..making purchases has lost it’s sparkle: there’s now so much choice that my brain literally melts as I walk past racks of clothes shouting buy me! buy me! The joy of taking the time to make that vital decision has gone out the window..as has the buzz of returning triumphant with that specially chosen piece of treasure that makes you feel a Queen every time you wear it.
The solution?
I don’t know.
All I know is that this season I’m going to go through all my old posts to find my true loves – the ones that really made my heart sing – and ear mark them for the Summer Sales – reduce it down to one Designer item to save for if I have to. This summer, I’m going to only buy seven outfits..three skirts, 2 pairs of trousers and 2 summer dresses and five tops. Shoes? 2 pairs. Jackets/coats?..has to be 2..they are my weakness…
And choosing less means choosing well..talking about..looking at it from every angle…trying everything on, getting things altered if necessary, making them myself if I have too…but most importantly….
It means really trying to get it absolutely right…and never, ever compromising…
Laters, Kate x
(Photo acknowledgements: London-Boutique.com, Walsh Tippetts and Pintrest)
Maison Bentley Style 