The profit and loss columns of my house-slash-life are not looking great…the last few days have been the tornado before the storm – clearing out the cellar, sitting room and kitchen in preparation for our building works.  The affect has been dramatic: The holiday washing is now ingeniously mixed in with boxes of electrical cables, stuff for charity and remnants of bubble wrap.  After working all day alongside the movers, I sat on the kitchen step with my head in my hands hardly able to look at the horror..everything we need to live with for the next few months has been artfully arranged shoved into our back sitting room so that it now contains 3 sofas, 2 coffee tables, 10 chairs of various descriptions, 2 tables, 2 bookcases, a fridge and a freezer.  Every spare surface has been filled with coats, school bags, shoes, boxes of papers, iceskating stuff, hoovers, brooms, footballs, picnic blankets and anything else I thought in my lunacy we might need this summer..and if it’s not there, it’s been thrown into another room of the house.

The garden’s not looking too hot either – I had grand plans of emptying the shed and turning it into a creative art room-hashtag-place of sanctuary for me the kids..everything is now out of the shed, exposing a gaping hole in the roof..a trip to the DIY shop for some cut-to-size marine ply has been unhappily added to the weekends list, whilst the sheds rotting innards lie in attractive piles (about as attractive as piles) around the garden, all needing re-homing or throwing..this building lark’s turned into a gigantic game of musical stuff..and I’m losing.

It will get sorted – it’s that inevitable drive through a foggy night on an unknown road..and then the sun comes out again.  But it does make you think about the amount of crud we accumulate and lug around.  For this clear out, I’ve really tried hard to be ruthless, inspired by the epiphany I had on holiday; At one point, when we were on a remote part of the Peloponnese,  we really thought Mr B, due to work pressures, would have to fly home early.  We gave notice on our hotel, re-packed all the bags so that he had 90% of our luggage to drive back to Athens in the hire car, leaving us with only had the bare necessities that I knew could manage travelling by myself with two children.   As it was, we drove half way back, to the bit of mainland opposite the island of Spetses, left the car there for a quick gettaway if it was needed, and returned to the sanctuary of my parent’s house/working internet with the husband still with us in body, if not in mind and an exit route ready if required…he stayed, but remained on the phone throughout the holiday, poor luv.  But we totally managed with what we had and it focused the mind on how much easier it is to live with less..decisions are halved, space is freed up..life is simpler.

I now dream of a simpler life: Call it builders blues, mid-life crisis, a feeling of rebellion caused by the husband’s work-overload against both the expectations and pace of modern life, but I just have the niggling sense I want to get off the middle class merry-go-round…instead, I fear, I’ve just pressed the button to make it all go faster.

Damn.

Laters, Kate x