Sweet Life..

 

ear cuff

 

(Ear cuff by Ryan Storer, now sold out – Boo!)

Walked into the utility room this morning and found the sock box all over the floor. Again.  How many times have I said to the kids if you go for a rummage – leave the room as you find it – if you disturb anything PUT IT BACK? I start moaning to the Husband who’s trying to get dressed.  ‘It’s not a big thing, but it’s representative of a larger issue,’ I say. No response.  I tell myself don’t linger on the negatives but everyone needs a rant at some point..in the evenings he gets to offload work on me so a voice says, why can’t I moan about my work? I’m the first to say mines not the job that brings in the money, but sometimes it’s the hidden work that holds a family together:  It’s the monotonous, grunge, brain numbing stuff that’s like groundhog day every day except it largely remains invisible as if fairies have been at work.  So I say, ‘it’s the invisible work I do that needs a bit of respect’.  Still no response.  I can feel the emotional plates shift like a red rag to a bull…’That’s just perfect, I’m so invisible (read taken for granted) no-one even hears me..I don’t want practical solutions, I don’t want a conference call or a European Summit but just an acknowledgement or a grunt will do’…nadah…I continue, climbing upon my very high horse..’I consider the work of a mother one of the most vital on the planet.  It’s the foundations stone that builds future lives, holding them together, keeping them moving forward in a (generally) clean and (hopefully) happy manner..it’s seven days a week, 365 days a year and for all this I get..nothing..zip..zilch..I live off your income and get not one iota of recognition from the government, not a tax break, not nothing..and as for society…well if this is indicative of society’s attitude..'(voice rising in crescendo..)

He pulls out his headphones..’Did you say something, Darling’?

Men. I really just give up.

And from now on I’ll be charging the kids 10p off their pocket money every time they mess up my utility room.  A girls gotta earn her money somehow….

 

Laters, Kate x

23 comments

  1. theblackberryboys

    This is exactly how I feel! You are absolutely right! I want recognition and I don’t want to be invisble 😦 I don’t think Husband would even notice if I dyed my hair purple 😦 He just takes everything for granted. He once said: you are on vacation all day long! 😦

    • Maison Bentley Style

      What I’ve learnt is that women who work part time go to the Office for a break…because it’s quiet and peaceful and you get uninterrupted time to focus on whatever you need to do..and get it done so much quicker! As mine are growing older I can see the 24 hour parenting starting to calm down…but it has still been the hardest thing I have ever done xxxxx

  2. Sophie SC

    hmm… I think that’s where I got it wrong… Yesterday, I agreed to pay the kids 10p each time they load the dishwasher.

  3. motherhendiaries

    Oh Kate! What a funny, sweet post! It’s fine to rant – we understand! You are right when you say we become a bit fairy-like invisible to our children – especially when they are little. What it really means is that you are doing your job very well! They would definitely notice if you stopped doing all that you do. It is not thankless, though. The thanks are merely delayed by a couple of decades. When they are in your shoes some years down the line, you will get your thanks then. At that time, you will be languishing in your uber-tidy utility room and missing the up-ended sock box. It is just one of those ironies of life. 🙂 As for the pay – don’t sweat it. Your husband – I don’t care what he does for a living – could not pay anyone enough for all the jobs you do as a mother. You are a team, and what he makes, you make together! Keep going, little momma. They need you even if they don’t know they do! xx MH

    • Maison Bentley Style

      I’m going to read this reply out to the..very slowly and very loudly! I can’t really complain about Mr B – he generally is a star – but he does have that horrible male habit of wanting to come up with solutions when all I want is an opportunity to vent…I’ve had my revenge..I made him run 2.5 km today…in the rain! xxx

      • motherhendiaries

        Gahaha! I was wondering if you would have a wet run! I was at my grandsons’ school fete – we were deluged! 🙂 Good choice of revenge…. but don’t blame him for trying to solve. It’s a guy thing! They can’t help it any more than we can stop using our intuition to solve (or at least to understand) every problem in our lives. Bless ’em…Enjoy your evening, you soggy, happy family!

  4. Linda

    I understand 110%. Although a empty nester….I remember….This is what I did: Write a letter (they will read it) to your kids and hubby, telling them you will be on a home vacation (give dates) for 5 days (or more or less); You will be invisible to them, no calls, no cell. Don’t speak to them, completely ignore them, do NO cleaning or cooking. Keep your headphone earplugs in while in the house. Have dinner out each night by yourself if you have to (invite friends), go shopping, museums, etc.. Each morning rise early get out of the house, only return to shower, change clothes, nap, sleep and leave again. This may sound weird….but it worked for me. Your first home vacation may be a little hard, but the second and thereafter…..they will get use to it and understand! 🙂

    • Maison Bentley Style

      They just don’t see it..mine leaves little piles everywhere and considers this tidying..or he’ll do the drying up..and won’t put the things in the cupboard..that also drives me nuts xxx

    • Maison Bentley Style

      Where I fall down is I take my foot off the pedal at the weekends because the idea of 7 days a week is abhorrent..so the husband never really sees the full flow of running around, hence can he really appreciate? Maybe I need to change my weekend days to thursday and Friday….hmmmmmmmm xxxx

  5. Stephanae V. McCoy

    I was a full-time working mom who went to work for a break lol. A mother’s job is never done. My 3 young men (all in their 20s now) still cause me great heartburn. Thank goodness though they are all living on their own.

  6. thelinencat & rockcottageyear

    Sounds just like a ‘conversation’ in this house! I once asked my husband who he thought cleaned the toilet (he has NEVER, to my knowledge in our 13 years together, even before the children, cleaned one in our shared home)…I just don’t get it, do they think little brownies live here that live to pick up after them. Men…and little boys 😉